August 20, 2011
Under the rainbow, over the moon
Under, over, and through.
This has been a particularly restorative summer for me. I’ve had the joy of staying put here in Kelpville, and being entertained by the endless parade of wild creatures you see in these blog pixels, plus many [slightly less wild, in most cases] friends who have joined me week after week exploring this magical little spot on the planet. Music has been made, laugh lines have been deepened, and a few wine bottles have been emptied (ok, more than a few). A general sense of well-being (and where I live, whale-being) due to a high dose of introspection and calm and not taking myself too seriously, has landed me in a damn good mood, renewed for the work year ahead.
With the exception of a three-day jaunt to a small neighboring island lacking plumbing and electricity to visit a dear, exceptionally talented friend, my body remained solidly planted on San Juan Island for two and a half beautiful months until now. After several years of seemingly continual travel, I’m becoming a bit more circumspect in my choices about when to leave this asylum of personal joy.
This past weekend offered a worthy reason to jump the rock. I traveled back to a place that in retrospect, turned out to be what more-than-obliquely inspired my move to San Juan Island 4.5 years ago: a historic artist retreat called The MacDowell Colony, in Peterborough, New Hampshire. I was a fellow there in 2003 (a state of residency, not gender reassignment, although my name is awfully convenient), and my fruitful weeks in a wooded cabin amidst wild turkeys (the birds, not shots of the bourbon in this case) were life-changing. Of course, Wild Turkey has been life-changing for plenty of folks, in both good and less than ideal ways, but I’m more of a Woodford Reserve or Maker’s Mark kinda gal, and if feeling particularly flush, I prefer to temporarily change my life, or at least my immediate take on it, with a glass of Blanton’s. But I digress.
Anyway, since last year I’ve had the honor of serving on the organization’s board, which convened there this weekend (for the record, the Board is quite separate from the admissions panels). It was giddily wonderful to return to the former scene of my artistic crime against innocent notes (the Colony’s incessant cicadas that summer had a bizarre influence on the flute quartet I penned there. Fortunately for my police record, the statute of limitations has passed). The board meeting was set to coincide with “Medal Day,” an annual tradition during which the normally über-private (darkly mysterious to some, even) grounds are opened to the public, and a distinguished creator is honored. This year playwright Edward Albee was the guest, and the speech he offered was both hilarious and very touching. Who knew that had it not been for a chance encounter on the Colony grounds with Thornton Wilder, Albee might well have remained a poet and never penned a single play?
My composing cabin at MacDowell: bucolic, to say the least. Turkeys were around the other side, making funny sounds at me. Everyone’s a critic.
I remember very well the new perspective that followed me home from Peterborough to Los Angeles that September eight years ago. Taking stock of the noisy, neurotic, 73 MPH environment that encroached upon my speck of slow-motion sanity on the Malibu shore, I became possessed by the idea that since I had been so happy and productive living in a rural, fairly isolated natural area, then perhaps my life should look and feel like that: every single day.
I’m the kind of person who, if I ever actually had “good china” that I really loved, would use it constantly until each piece was chipped beyond hope. I don’t believe in saving things for special occasions. “Life is short, eat dessert first” is a workable description of my less than pithy religious philosophy, and since 1993, I’ve chosen to live in places others covet for their vacations. Malibu. Santa Barbara. The San Juans. I will omit the ten years I spent in my 20’s living in the San Fernando Valley. Trust me, no one vacations there if they have other options. Although, I did admire the endless row of gi-normous palm trees on the boulevard where I lived, leading the way to tacky fast food restaurants and garishly painted gas stations weighing down all four corners of every intersection. But I digress.
Anyway, with the advent of the internet, and a composing career that found itself well supported by that technology, it dawned on me that I could live anywhere in the world that had electricity and DSL (I wouldn’t do well on my pal’s island). After all, I’m not a gigging performer (I prefer to make all the other musicians who play my stuff do the hard work). It matters not where I am, as long as I can hit the send button. In fact, I’m certain that lots of players would prefer I stay put, kept at a safe distance by my seawater moat, and not bother them.
When I was at MacDowell in 2003, they loaned me a bike, and a chipmunk.
Four years after my residency, having finally had enough of the crazed mania that redundantly describes southern California, I moved 1500 miles north to this remote floating paradise. The experience in New Hampshire had turned out to be deeply significant to my future, in a way that I could not have foreseen at the time. The MacDowell Colony offered me a distraction-free glimpse not only into my art, but into my life. I ran with that ball of internal observation, and ended up creating a personal, year-round artist retreat for myself (and the occasional, GPS-challenged sparrow who flies into the house when I keep the door open too wide). I’ve never been happier. What I lack in lunch baskets thoughtfully delivered to my doorstep, and engaging discourse with other creators over after-dinner ping-pong, is made up for in all you see––and hear––on these blog pages. The gift of time at an artist colony is precious. What has resonated long since I gathered up those cicada-inspired note-filled score pads and brought them back home, has been profound.
When I left L.A. for this funny little place that few had ever heard of, I warned my other composer friends that hey, if my career suddenly takes a nose dive, don’t do what I did. Amazingly, the opposite has been the case. So now I tell my friends to trust their gut instincts, and to be aware that sometimes we have more choice and more power over the look and feel of our lives than we may have previously realized.
Eat dessert first. Have some more, a little later. Do the work that compels you, obey your heart, smile a lot, and just maybe, the Universe will give you some unexpected rewards: turkeys, chipmunks, whales, and joy.
June’s rising full moon over the sea, from my island doorstep.
Michael Shaffer said,
August 21, 2011 @ 9:18 am
Posts like this don’t need a comment from me — it’s always been a dream of mine to spend a month at the MacDowell — maybe I have enogh tim eleft — thanks for the visit —
Glenn Buttkus said,
August 21, 2011 @ 9:21 am
Bioplasm @ 1:05 helped to center my morning; thanks. I can still hear those LA flutes sotto voce off in the warm distance. How incredible it was to read this posting, this latest summary of your idyllic life, why it works, its therapeutic value, the naked joy you feel and share.
I have been nursing a leg wound (I fell through my deck on June 1), and so have had more than my share of pity parties this lost summer; full of accommodations, set backs, and frustration–but somehow this morning, reading your treatise on tranquility, I am smiling. Bless you.
Alex Shapiro said,
August 21, 2011 @ 9:24 am
I’m a big believer that there’s always enough time for all of us– until we keel over :-)) Except for, uh, like, being a gymnast at the Olympics. My time for that was up a loooong time ago!
Alex Shapiro said,
August 21, 2011 @ 9:26 am
Oh, Glenn– from your FB page, I knew you were nursing something, but I didn’t realize quite what. I’m so sorry! That’s scary… I hope you… uh…. HEEL… quickly! Ha ha :-))
Carla said,
August 21, 2011 @ 11:51 am
What an incredible post, Alex! I love that you wrote such a beautiful post on Ann and Mike’s birthday. Thanks for “being you” and for continuing to share in a way that inspires us all! love, Carla 🙂
Christy said,
August 21, 2011 @ 12:56 pm
I know I’ve said this before, but you are my #1 inspiration in life. My husband was born and raised in the beautiful San Fernando Valley where we still live, and he really wants to move away. I want to get to that place where I don’t feel “tied down” to being in LA (I just passed the 5 year mark and a year away from my 30th birthday.) How you built the exact life you wanted for yourself is such an inspiration and beautiful thing to behold/listen to. <3
Alex Shapiro said,
August 21, 2011 @ 1:24 pm
You are so sweet, Christy! And if you can envision the life that you want– seeing it, to the point of practically tasting it– you can create it. Keep the faith. Your 30th birthday might bring with it some amazing surprises. And meanwhile, the Valley isn’t THAT bad– heck, I spent a full decade in Van Nuys!
Samantha Bangayan said,
August 21, 2011 @ 2:32 pm
Wow! I really admire your life philosophy, Alex, and it seems all the more beautiful to know that you can express yourself through music. To be truthful, I’ve always imagined having a life soundtrack to go with the ups and downs. =) I’m an “eat dessert first” kinda gal too — it’s what brought me to Peru in the first place — but I definitely need a reminder every now and then when I get too caught up in work. Thank you! =) And it’s so great to meet you through Stu! =)
Alex Shapiro said,
August 21, 2011 @ 3:17 pm
Thanks so much, Samantha! Wonderful to meet you, too, and I look forward to reading your work!
William Belote said,
August 23, 2011 @ 1:04 pm
It’s always great to have examples of self-actualization. What I’m seeing is joy, purpose, simplicity, and service. And there is an absence of guilt, greed, ego. That such a one would also be a friend is good fortune in the extreme. The equinox is coming – time to harvest some more notes from the abundance around us
Alex Shapiro said,
August 23, 2011 @ 1:07 pm
Awww, thanks, Bill– I’m fortunate in the extreme to have YOU as my pal!
Barry said,
September 4, 2011 @ 6:06 am
Alex,
You’re about the most sane person I know. You dream and do. Then you are comfortable enough with yourself to share this with us. You are the gift I needed this morning.
It’s a beautiful day here in Kansas City, clear, cool and sunny. Now, having your wisdom and beauty right here in my lap (via laptop and a thousand Cisco routers) my day is made already at 9:04 AM.
Thanks my friend for la vida isla,
Barry
Alex Shapiro said,
September 4, 2011 @ 6:37 am
You’re very kind, Barry– though if I’m the sanest person you know, you have a VERY colorful life! Ha!