January 11, 2009
Birthday suit
From 0 to 47: funny looking, but cute.
I have a theory that if I were to spell my first name with three x’s at the end and register a website address as such, I would get a LOT more traffic. Of course, once the visitors arrived and found a smiling but far-too-clothed woman in all the photographs, they might be more than a tad ticked off. As a marketing plan, it just seems like it could backfire.
Well, this is all I can offer up in the way of nudie pix, anyway. Ok, I won’t talk about a few snapshots here and there, courtesy of cute camera-toting boyfriends over the years. Nope. Well, I guess I just did. But hey, that was a loooong time ago! Good thing I wasn’t going for that Miss America tiara. Innocent nudity apparently equals instant career destruction.
Well, not for me. At least, not yet. The day’s still young. Here I am in New York City after my bath in the kitchen sink, looking like Calgon took me away (you actually have to be around my age to even appreciate that reference). I think I was about 23 in this photo and about to towel off and grab a pizza and a beer. Ok, no, I lied. I couldn’t have fit into the sink at 23. 19: possibly. Now: fuggedaboutit. I’m quite small, but not quite that small. But I’m pretty sure about the pizza and the beer.
I’ve now completed 47 rotations around the sun, and am very happy to be beginning a 48th swirl on the cosmic dance floor. Whheeeeee! I think the music clip I’ve selected for the occasion sums up my wacky, often-in-perpetual motion life nicely.
I neglected to mention last week that there’s another birthday here: that of this salinity-laden blog, which is starting its fourth orbit through the internet tubes. Since January of 2006 I’ve been nurturing this little beast like a beloved child, and it’s resulted in a lot of joy and virtually no frustration at all (which indicates to me that given the way my life is, opting for the blog and not the toddler was a good plan).
Should any of you kelphistos who have not lost every dime in this sad economy wish to get me and my little blog a present for our birthdays, we both would be thrilled if you’d download, or buy the physical CD (which I will inscribe to you!), of my chamber music disc, Notes from the Kelp. The links have been staring at you for a year in that right-hand side bar… c’mon, you know you’ve seen ’em, you know you’ve looked away and thought to yourself, “darn, she’s so nice, it’s got a groovy cover, I know I should buy this CD, but… uh… not today!” Well, now’s your chance. Makes a great gift for all the algae specialist biologists in your life! Makes a great coaster for that wheat grass and seaweed protein energy drink your weird friend is always trying to get you to try. And, it even makes a decent 80 minutes of music, too!
Otherwise, I might end up just looking for the rest of the year like I did my first year:
And we wouldn’t want that!
Upon reflection of these photographic blasts from my past, I hereby open up a caption contest for one or both of them. Be creative. Go nuts. Make me laugh. Make everyone else who reads them positively hysterical. You cannot hurt my feelings, trust me.
Tom said,
January 11, 2009 @ 7:27 am
First caption: “It’s not the ice cream sundae Harry; it’s the past 15 years!”
Second caption: “I see dead people”
Glenn Buttkus said,
January 12, 2009 @ 8:00 am
First Picture:
“Your turn now, honey.”
“So hey, I got naked–where’s the cookie?”
“Are all bathtubs this shallow?”
“All this and I can sing too. Wanna hear?”
Second Picture:
“So I got all dressed up–where are we going for dinner?”
“Would you please reconsider my request?”
“What is that funny red spot on your nose?
Congratulations on another successful orbit, another fine birthday. What kind of cake do you like? Does Charles cook it, buy it, or let you take care of it?
It is hard for me to believe that as a fledgling kelphisto, I have hung in there for over a year now. Your adventures and musings and observations have lifted my spirits and tickled my funny bone countless times. May 2009 bring more of the same.
Although you cannot bring yourself to put two more “X”s in your name, it was pretty daring of you to share an actual nude shot of your self. Maybe you could tease us further with a California beach shot in your bikini. Certainly you have dozens of such shots in your archives? But then that too might be too titilating, enit?
Glenn
Glenn Buttkus said,
January 12, 2009 @ 8:07 am
And thank you for the clip: Scherzo, from Sonata for Piano @ 53 seconds. It is as you promised, frantic, fun, frenetic, frisky, and it pepped up my morning. Your tradition of sharing snippets of your compositions has probably pleased hordes more of the passers by than you realize.
As a birthday present for you, I did play my copy of the CD, NOTES FROM THE KELP in its entirity this morning. It is like a flight around the world in 80 minutes, around the state of your mind, soul flights and musical flourishs that defy gravity, that comfort, that query, that entertain.
Glenn
Alex said,
January 12, 2009 @ 10:56 am
Photo #1 caption: “Hey! Are you talkin’ to ME?”
Photo #2 caption: “Seriously dahling….does this outfit make me look fat?”
Happy Birthday Alex! And Alex’s blog! Here’s to many more happy rotations. 🙂 xo!
Robert said,
January 13, 2009 @ 12:22 am
Happy Birthday Alex! I can read but still wonder if your actually at the very least 10yrs younger than what you claim to be.
Wonderful accomplishments, kiddo.
Mike Wills said,
January 13, 2009 @ 9:43 am
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Alex….I will play NOTES FROM THE KELP today.
Your talent and aural joy will carry me through the afternoon and two meetings.
All the best!!
Mike
Adrienne Albert said,
January 13, 2009 @ 12:31 pm
Hi dear Alex and Belated Happity Birthiday! Did you spend it with the person who birthed you??
Love all your comments, your delightful wit, and your cuteness, even in the sink!
Picture #2 might read “When you gotta go, you gotta go!”
See you at CMA in a couple days.
Love,
Adrienne
Alex Shapiro said,
January 13, 2009 @ 1:45 pm
Thanks for all the well wishes (and compliments, Robert!), gang– and Adrienne, I can’t wait to see you at CMA in NYC! And yes, the following week I will have a belated birthday dinner with the woman responsible for this mess in the first place 🙂
William Belote said,
January 14, 2009 @ 11:42 pm
So I’m late to the party (a dead modem and horrible customer service), but here’s my 2 cents.
Christ what a beautiful baby! Ok, I’m a little crude, but,
Picture 1 – “Take my temperature, fine, but there? Really?
or “So I’m supposed to get all the water out of the sink, right?
Picture 2 “Someday, I’m going to be a great composer.”
And so it is.
Love,
Bill
Barry said,
January 15, 2009 @ 4:47 pm
Happy Birthday Alex,
I see you started raising that right eyebrow pretty early in life! Hmmm, betcha still do that, doncha?
Always a treat to come here and nose around the San Juans with you. Three years of kelp washing ashore with tunes every single time, doesn’t seem that long. Still a blast though.
How is it that the rest of us age and you are so young no matter what you say?
Have a beautiful year,
Barry
Alex Shapiro said,
January 23, 2009 @ 1:56 am
Actually, Barry, one of my very special talents is that I am among the few and the proud who can raise EACH eyebrow independently. Quite high. In rapid succession, if desired. The visual effect is nothing short of… uh… well…. frightening. In a stupid kinda way.
🙂