Unabashedly More

When we are most true to ourselves, we neither mince our words nor parse our notes.

(Flute/Piccolo, Clarinet, Violin, Viola, Cello and Piano).
Total duration ca. 11 minutes (2010)
Published by Activist Music (ASCAP).
Commissioned in 2010 by Lunatics at Large, for The Sanctuary Project.
One movement work. 38 pages (score), 8.5" x 11".

Premiered on March 21, 2011 in New York, NY.
by Lunatics at Large: Jonathan Engle, flute; Ben Ringer, clarinet; Arthur Moeller, violin; Jen Herman, viola; Andrea Lee, cello, and Evi Jundt, piano.

Audio clip performed by Lunatics at Large, live in concert at Synagogue for the Arts, New York City, April 2011.

Lunatics at Large pianist Evi Jundt invited me to adapt a work in my catalog for her ensemble, pointing to their season's theme of the meaning of "sanctuary." There are many places in which each of us finds this elusive safe harbor, and for me, the most frequent, and certainly the most reliable, has been in the act of composing. This is where I've always felt safe enough to express aspects of my otherwise cheery personality that might not be considered socially acceptable, were I to blurt my inner rage, or laugh uncontrollably, or sob, in the midst of, say, a cocktail party.

The protective confines of the manuscript paper allow me emotional freedom, as do the welcoming ears of audiences who are prepared—eager, in fact—to receive whatever the notes on those pages communicate, whether thorny, funny, or inconsolable. But Unabashedly More falls on the other side of the emotive spectrum. These notes find their sanctuary within beauty and lyricism, and sometimes, within great simplicity inspired by the natural world that surrounds me as I compose on San Juan Island. Melancholy floats through the piece until the final measures, which then unabashedly state my feelings of tremendous excitement toward the world around me, despite its challenge. Through this piece, I can share a very special sanctuary with anyone willing to listen, and reflect back to them their own joy and wonder.

We need beauty and emotional truth for our sanity. Uneasy melancholy, anger and despair, quirky acceptance, calm, and complete elation, each pulse through our lives and insist that we stare directly, without flinching. When we are most true to ourselves, we neither mince our words nor parse our notes. We communicate as passionately and unabashedly as we wish.

""Unabashedly" accomplished something that few composers or pieces of music can: it's music that defies gravity."

—Alan Chapman, host, Modern Masterpieces, KUSC-FM radio, Los Angeles